Hint: It’s in the Cereal Aisle.
Calling all single ladies! Forget everything you’ve heard about how to meet the man of your dreams. No need to take up golf if you hate it. Ixnay to finding one of the few bookstores left to roam around and “bump” into some guy reading Kafka. And do not pin your hopes on batting your Kim Kardashian Glam Bible mascara’d fuller, thicker eyelashes and pursing your Kylie Kardashian Commando Velvet Lipstick coated lips at a dapper dude across the bar.
I have the secret. It’s cheap, easy, quick and effective! All you need to do is …
Buy Chocolate Cheerios.
I got my Chocolate Cheerios at Safeway the other night after work. Oh, the looks, winks and conversations that followed. With no kid in tow or ring on your finger, you’ve got all the tools you need to snag a man. He can break the ice with a humor-imbued line (“Somebody has a case of the chocolates.”) and then you can bat your lashes and flash your sparkling Crest Whitestripped smile.
CAUTION: This technique is not for the faint of heart.
It is likely a few I’d-NEVER-eat-cereal snobs will give you judgmental stares. But that’s a pittance of a price to pay for “finding your person” as Becca from The Bachelorette would say.
Pair with coconut milk for a virtually guilt-free dessert full of fiber, gluten free and made with REAL cocoa to give you all the nutrition you need to reel that guy in. Win-win. A “demi” DeathbedFood your amore will adore.
Next, make a Christina Tosi-inspired chocolate layered cake with cream cheese frosting interspersed with Chocolate Cheerios layers showing to accelerate your courtship Ferrari fast.
So if you’re a single lady, go get Chocolate Cheerios pronto at any grocery, big box or convenience store. And if you catch Mr. Big, let me know on Twitter @DeathbedFood.