Bill Hader’s Recipe Can Inspire Fast Food Bosses
I’m in the food court. Tired from standing in Chipotle’s line that’s as long as the traffic backup on the freeway from Vegas to LA, Sunday of July 4th weekend. I’m desperate to find a table somewhere far from screeching babies. Victory! Table free next to Bond, James Bond – AKA the pin-striped suited, Tall Dark Handsome (probably Alpha Lawyer) specimen of a man with his head in his phone. If you’re gonna be in a food court, why not sit next to a dapper suit who could possibly help you in court? I make a note to get his card.
I dig into my white rice bowl of veggies, medium salsa, guacamole and pinto beans on the side. I may tweet something on @DeathbedFood. Maybe about Mr. Pin Stripe? Better yet, my #addiction to #Chipotle’s #guac and repeated nightmares about its disappearance from the menu due to an #avocado shortage.
Just as I reach for my phone, I stop. I take a double take on my root beer. There, on the cup, I see “Bill Hader” and “Two-Minute Recipe For The Perfect Fountain Drink.” Turns out he measures each soda flavor by tapping the beat of a song on the soda dispenser. Giving specific direction, he tells us that “Row row row your boat” is 5 beats on the soda dispenser or about a 1/2 cup (full recipe at the end.)
Then I notice the bag. More stuff on Bill’s beverage tips. What’s going on? I realize it’s not just food comedy. It’s Chipotle’s Cultivating Thought Author Series. Apparently, Chipotle decided they will do more than serve sustainably sourced chicken burritos. They’ll break people out of their digital daze into thinking about something else. I think they call it analog?
Beware. It’s bait and switch. They draw you in with a Bill Hader and next thing you know you’re learning about acceptance from BLINK author, Malcolm Gladwell. Fine with me. Anything to stop people from tweeting about their rice bowls (yes, that’s me talking to myself.)
Maybe one day, Shake Shack will feature Shakespeare on its cups. Or Domino’s will showcase Dostoyevsky on its boxes. Or Chaucer at Chick-fil-A. Let’s toast with our Chipotle cups to the possibilities!
Now, for your drinking pleasure, please enjoy Bill Hader’s Perfect Fountain Drink with his two-minute recipe:
1 “Row Row Row Your Boat” of Coke • 1 “Shave and _a Hair Cut” of grape soda • 1 “G.L.O.R.I.A. Glooooorrrria.” of Mello Yello • 1 “Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! (“Jeremy”, Pearl Jam) of ginger ale • 3 “Thank you Japan! Good Night!” (The Carpenters: Live in Japan) of Diet Coke • 1 drum solo from “YYZ” (Rush) of Sprite • 1 oboe solo from “Flight of 200 Bumblebees” (Impossible Oboe Tunes) of lemonade • 1 “Stevie, What Were You Doing in Mick’s Room?” (Fleetwood Mac: The Making of Rumours) of Fanta • 2,000,000 “Hey!” (any Arcade Fire song) of root beer • 1 light splash of Dasani